I've been preparing for this trip for two weeks, learning some basic phrases in Italian and researching the best places to eat. I'm on a diet again, so it's important that if I do eat gelato, it's the best gelato this planet has to offer.
I've never been to Rome (Italy) but from what I've read online, tourist traps abound. I'll be damned if I'm going to go all the way to eat crappy food made for Americans who don't know any better. Even though I'm an American that doesn't know any better. As far as my tastebuds are concerned, my Italian food experience begins at Little Ceasers and ends at Olive Garden.
Be that as it may, I'm determined to deport myself in Italy as if I were a worldly gourmand, wise to the ways of carpaccio and cachio è pepe.
That's assuming I get on the flight. If not, you'll probably find me in Rome Georgia. At The Olive Garden.