Saturday, May 2, 2015

Pic A Day In May - 2

My friend gave me some more Chinese medicinal patches for my sore back.
I wrote about these a few years go in "Bone Musk In The Workplace".

Friday, May 1, 2015

Pic A Day In May - 1

Okay Blobby, I'll play. :^)

If the window sticker is this guy's idea of insurance coverage,
"God bless our way" would feel more comprehensive.

Thursday, April 30, 2015


Sure I thought about getting the Apple Watch. But I'm kind of tired of always being the early adopter for these things. This time I think I'll wait for the Apple Watch 3 Air Plus.

So what to do with that $400 burning a hole in my pocket? Sunglasses!

Which is probably ten times more than I've ever spent on a pair of sunglasses. Experience has taught me that the cost of sunglasses is inversely proportional to the number of days I get to enjoy them before leaving them in a corner booth at Chili's.

This explains the tacky white sunglasses I'm always wearing. They were free swag from some bar party sponsored by Corona Light and I wore them without caring they made me look like Belinda Carlisle's stunt double from the Vacation video. Until I see the photos. But I can't throw them without their coming back to me. Because I paid nothing for them and possibly their boomerang shape.

But then a few weeks ago I saw this viral video for glasses which correct colorblindness...

My new Enchroma sunglasses arrived Tuesday and they're fantastic. I don't know if they allow me to see "normally", but I'm definitely seeing colors in a way I never have before. JB is getting tired of my pointing and shouting "PINK!". Especially when he's driving.

It's always difficult trying to explain how my experience of color is different from everyone else's. Almost every time I tell someone I'm colorblind, they run around pointing to things asking "So what color is this?" And they seem disappointed when I guess it right.

My explanation has always been that a 64-pack of Crayolas looks the same as a 24-pack with a bunch of duplicates thrown in. Only the labels on the duplicates have different and often baffling names.

I was that kid the in school... the one who couldn't tell his Cornflower from his Periwinkle.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

What Would You Do?

Here's a hypothetical scenario:

You and your partner are getting a new stove delivered. You already know your partner isn't the best tipper. Not only that, he gets angry at me when he thinks I over-tip. The last time we got an appliance delivered, I had to quietly slip the guy a twenty to round up the five JB gave him. For crying out loud, it's a refrigerator, not a pizza!

But I digress from my hypothetical scenario. So let's say that after the guy hauls in your new stove and connects the gas line, you prepare yourself with a $20 bill surreptitiously folded in your right hand.

Then, hypothetically, your usually thrifty partner surprises you by handing the guy $30. And the happy Home Depot delivery man shakes his hand. Then reaches out to shake yours.

Do you:

A: Top off his $30 tip with the $20 bill in your hand?

B: Slip the money in your pocket, hoping nobody notices but knowing everyone will?

C: Offer a hearty fist bump instead?

D: Refuse to shake the poor guy's hand, possibly making yourself appear crazy and/or racist?

Just curious.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015


I know, I know. You'd think finding time to blog would be easier while working from home. Just like you'd think going to the gym would be. Let's see, where did I leave off? For my New Year's resolution I gave up sex. That lasted two days.

Then I gave up meat for Lent. Which would be much easier if I didn't see meat everywhere I look. It's like New Years all over again.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Home Viral

When I was a kid, anti-vaxers didn't exist. Which is exactly as you'd expect from a generation of parents who, as children, were gratefully delivered from the specter of polio by miraculous advances in modern medicine. Not that my parents wouldn't have pimped us out for cosmetics testing if that were an option.

I remember me and my brother staying home from school, both of us wearing mittens duct taped to our pajama sleeves to keep us from scratching our itchy, oozing pox shedding billions of chicken viruses.

I was supposed to be with the rest of my second grade class which was enjoying a field trip. I don't remember exactly where the class was going; space camp or fire station pole sliding or zebra-back riding or something awesome like that. All I remember is that I'd been looking forward to that field trip since getting the permission slip signed. Instead I was locked up in quarantine with my stupid kid brother. Of course I blamed him for missing my field trip. Dick.

Today as I write this, I'm home in bed with a 101ยบ fever. I'm not supposed to be here. I'm supposed to be at the airport standing by for a seat to Denver to visit StevieB for the weekend. We'd been planning this trip for weeks. I even had my permission slip signed.

Le sigh.