Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Departures

Sometimes the stars align and something for which you've given up hope becomes possible. And sometimes those alignments aren't always positive.

I'd written off the idea of going to Oktoberfest this year, mostly because of the expense, especially in light of the employment situation. But also because I couldn't consider leaving my old cat with a sitter for more than a day or two. He'd been going downhill since he lost his brother in February.

Even when JB picked up a Munich trip for opening weekend, it didn't make sense for me to tag along just to spend a single day on the Theresienwiese and come right home. Since there's a huge obnoxious music festival in the park by my house this weekend, I planed to stock up on food and beer and spend the weekend hunkered down with Emil. (The cat.)

But last week it became obvious Emil's old cat body was shutting down. On Saturday, after seventeen years together, we made the hard decision to euthanize him.

With Emil gone, I couldn't bear the idea of hunkering home alone all weekend. That's when my ex, Joe, suggested I come with him to Munich on Wednesday and fly back next week on JB's return flight. He even kindly offered to let me stay in his hotel room until JB gets there.

Which explains why I'm now sitting at an airport bar with an RSVP cruise gym bag stuffed with lederhosen.

Auf Wiedersehen.



Sunday, September 7, 2014

Den

This weekend I was convinced to tackle a chore that's been on my honey-do list since we had the ceilings redone five months ago: clean out the spare room.

I never know what to call this room. On the original floor plan it's labeled "Den". That would be appropriate if there were bears frolicking within. (Sadly there isn't.) I could only call it a den if it had a comfy leather chair in which I could drink brandy from a snifter while admiring my taxidermia.

I was once invited into a straight man's den.
It could rightly be called a "Guest Room", but it's almost never in a condition for company. Lately, in fact, I've been making sure the door is tightly closed whenever anyone knocks. Or Skypes.

I sometimes call it the "Computer Room". There is a computer in it. That I almost never use since getting my MacBook. It would make more sense to call it "Printer Room" than computer room. It's across the hall from the "Toilet Room".

I suppose I could call it a "Home Office". But I can never work from home without JB giving me stink-eye for "playing" on the computer whilst he folds laundry. Once while attempting to work from home, he sent the not-so-subtle message I wasn't performing anything he would consider "work" by repeatedly ramming the vacuum cleaner into the back of my chair. That made for an awkward conference call.

I have to give JB credit for making rush-hour commuting pleasurable.

For now I'm just calling it the "Spare Room". And since I'm between jobs (my euphemism for "unemployed") I have no excuse for not cleaning it. No, really, just ask JB.

Thus I began cleaning the spare room like any normal person who forgot to take his Adderall would: by thumbing through my high school freshman yearbook. Aren't we all glad I grew out of that awkward phase? Evidently I could only convince one 9th grade classmate to sign my yearbook.


Proof that cheaters never prosper. I bet her algebra sucks too.

Its tone has the finality of Senior year. Of course I had to go through the other three books to see if Wendy ever got to know me better. Apparently she didn't.

I'd barely moved on to my college yearbooks when JB came in to inspect my progress. And I thought getting hit with a vacuum cleaner was bad.




Friday, September 5, 2014

Seashell Network

Looking back a year, it's clear how much I was focused on the upcoming big gay cruise. Nearly every post expressed the anticipation of a well-earned vacation. While I expected a good time, I never imagined I'd be sitting here seven months afterward still writing about the experience.

The cruise itself was just a vacation. A very, very enjoyable vacation which I plan to repeat as often as practically possible. But still just a vacation that ended back home with the first load of laundry.

It's the people with whom I shared that ship that still impact my life every single day. Those I knew well, barely or not at all before the cruise, all imprinted themselves on me with equal regard. It's these relationships that come to mind when I remember that week at sea.

When the email came for next year's cruise, I knew it wasn't going to happen. Part of me sensed the job situation was going to be an issue. But another part of me worried I could never recreate the experience without all the same people there.

But lately my attitude has changed. I might miss this cruise but I'm definitely not going to miss the next one. Not when the worst that can happen is the possibility of adding more amazing friends to my social network.



Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Standing By

One of the perks of being married to a fight attendant is the flight pass. One of the drawbacks to working all the time is that I don't often get to take maximum advantage of this perk.

So I guess one of the advantages of being between jobs is being able to travel on a whim.

For better or worse, when it comes to using my pass, my whims are subject to JB's approval.

For example, fly to Green Bay to spend quality time with my nephew? Approved! Fly to Boston to go bar hopping with a disconcertingly handsome blog buddy? Denied! Fly to Dallas to attend my brother's intervention? Approved! Fly to Denver to hang out with StevieB and the rest of the Denver Bear bunch? Denied!

Sheesh. I's not like there isn't plenty of mischief to be made at home. But I understand. Flight passes are a perk best enjoyed together. That's why I'm waiting for a precious seat on the flight JB is working today to Juneau, Alaska.

It may not be Denver, but there are bound to be bears.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Always Punctual

My first week of unemployment has been surprisingly busy. I really expected I'd feel useless and unfulfilled. On the contrary, I'm getting fulfilled daily.

One trick I found is to each morning set one small goal for myself to accomplish that day. Today's goal was to use a semicolon in a text message.


I can tell from the response that I used it correctly.




Friday, August 8, 2014

The Enterprise Edition

I apologize for my recent dearth of updates. On the positive side, I've been doing lots of bloggin' in my noggin. On the neutral side, today is my last day at my current job. On the negative side, I have yet to find my next adventure. (On the double-plus side, I promise never to use "bloggin' in my noggin" again. Or "dearth".)

Three weeks ago today the acquisition of the company for which I've labored for the past 5 years and 10 months was approved by our shareholders. From the time of the announcement three months ago up until that approval, our modus operandi was "apprehensively stay the course". I, being the non-felonious Martha Stewart of any room I happen to be in, thought the impending change could be a good thing. I, for one, welcomed our mysterious private Macon-based overlords.

I was wrong. The following Monday I came into the office to find my team's beloved scrum whiteboard missing. (Yes, scrum. We were Agile with a capital "A" and three syllables.)

Is that an oxymoron? To find something missing? Anyway, when I finally found it found, it was crammed into the main conference room with a ton of other office furnishings. A literal ton. That should have been my first clue.

My second clue was learning we had an arbitrarily-decreed 60 days to decommission our existing CRM system and replace it with their existing Microsoft SQL Server. My third clue was being constantly corrected when I used the third-person pronoun, "they". As in, "Are they fucking nuts?"

To be fair, I was assured "we" would soon be upgrading "our" SQL Server to the "Enterprise" edition. In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have asked if that would require another trip to Office Depot. (Evidently it's some sort of in-app purchase.)

Two weeks ago I was told my services would no longer be required. As it was now painfully obvious that business continuity isn't "their" thing, I didn't take it personally. I was given two weeks to pack my personal effects and finish 160 hours of work. I finished that work yesterday afternoon before getting drunk. Today I'm going in to fetch my MacBook charger, bluetooth keyboard and Magic Mouse.

Before getting drunk.